Aliens On A Train

What was that about Soylent Green again?!?"






















On the way to the Tokyo Toy Show last week, I snapped this picture on the train. Take a close look at this picture on the left. I'll wait... Now, I originally took this picture because in Tokyo, you should apparnetly give your seat to a grey alien with big eyes, no nose and no mouth. But after looking at the picture on top, I'm thinking that the alien wants people in their seats in order to use them for some form of bizarre sushi! The picture on top shows the people that were turned into sushi. They are still wearing clothes, but don't look anything like their former selves. How the aliens eat this sushi, I have no idea. But if you see a grey alien on a train in Tokyo, please, DO NOT sit down in a priority seat!



UPDATE: I've been informed that the angle of the picture is wrong and that if I tilt the picture 45 degrees to the left it is easy to see that... OH YES, Soylent Green is People! Even if its not green!

Skewered!

...maybe it was something I ate.

There are a few places that sell skewers of food. I'd like to tell you about two of them. One was a restaurant in Kawasaki. We were going to La Cittadella, a pretty, neat place where you can forget that you are in Japan and pretend you are in Italy for a little while. Before we got there, we settled in for a bite to eat at a Japanese restaurant that sold skewers of food. Most of it was pretty good, actually. Then I grabbed the skewer with the meatballs. Yes, they looked like meatballs, and the first bite tasted like meatballs. A second bite revealed a surprise inside the meatball: a hardboiled egg. Luckily, the egg had been shelled! The size of the egg was rather small and I would guess it to be about the size of my thumb's first digit. Once I got over the surprise, it wasn't that bad.

The other evening in the supermarket, there was a prepared food section with a tray full of just-off-the-grill skewers. It looked like chicken parts and I grabbed a bunch. I did stay away from the skewers of chicken gizzards and chicken livers. ("Save the liver!"). I got home, grabbed a beer and dove into the skewers. The first one was pretty good. But the first bite from the second skewer seemed to have a bit too much fat. So did the second one. And, the third. In fact, the skewer had been made of small pieces of folded chicken skin and no meat! I'm sorry. I know you can't unread something that you've just read, but that is what the skewer was made from. Chicken skin! "OK, no problem," I think to myself, while I grab another skewer. Oops. It was also a chicken skin skewer. Half of my skewers were made up of chicken skin and only chicken skin. My discover that evening called for an unscheduled trip to a Scottish Restaurant. That's right, I ended up in McDonald's.

A side note, it was a busy week for me and the next few weeks will be no less busy! I've got at least a couple more posts waiting to see the light of day for this week, so please check back.

Music Bleg

If you know what I mean, and I think you do (IYKWIMAITYD)!

Must.Have.More.Leningrad.Cowboys.

Helpful Tips While In Japan

...first in a series.

While I still consider mself a newbie here in Japan, there are some simple do's and don'ts that I've come across. From time to time, and especially when my desire to blog is really low, I'll publish these tips. With that in mind, here's tip number 1.

During the rainy season, and especially when the humidity is quite high, don't put Johnson's Baby Powder (or any brand of powder) on yourself and then immediately put on a black suit. And, if you're not going to wear a black suit, then don't put Johnson's Baby Powder on in the same room as that afore mentioned suit; or any suit for that matter. It is just something that I've heard about and want to pass along.

Never understimate the 'power of breeze'

Presented for your consideration, one Mr. Petesan. He doesn't know it yet, but that remote control has a mind of its own...

If you've read my previous entry on the air conditioner & remote control in my apartment, you'll know that 'power of breeze' is not a button you should push indiscriminately. Like I just did the other night...

Right now, this is the rainy season in Tokyo, and the air outside is frequently visible. On such days the air conditioner is indispensible. Last night, the 'power of breeze' cooled off my apartment alot. When I wanted to lower the breeze, however, the remote control pretended like it had no battery power left! No LCD screen, no buttons working (not even the heat button!), nothing. If I had a woolen hat to wear, I would have worn it. That's how cold it was in my apartment last night. The 'power of breeze' would not be denied, or least not be shut off. This evening, when I came home, the apartment was still very cold, but the remote control allowed me to change, not only the temperature, but the 'power of breeze' as well. So, all seems well, but I am worried.

I may sleep with the lights on and the window open tonight. As long as I'm sleeping in Tokyo and not... The Twilight Zone.

Trains

...because not every post can be about food!

Trains and train stations are a big part of daily life in Tokyo. I had a conversation recently about the Toyota company selling fewer and fewer cars in Japan. "Well of course!" came the reply. "Everyone just takes a train when they want to go somewhere." I guess this is true even if you have wheels! For example, check out this family that, umm, rides together.

The trains are definitely crowded, except on Sundays. Here's the Mita subway station, one of the stops on the Mita subway line. Very creative naming conventions were used here. I never saw even one power tool, though. However, I did see someone polishing the tops of these barriers on Sunday. They do look rather shiney!

As with most trains, advertisements cover as many square inches as possible. And, if you've ever seen a car drive by with plasma screens in the back for kids, well Tokyo trains have them too - for the kid in everyone. Besides commercials, ("Have a rice day!") you can see golf tips to improve your game. Assuming you don't have to back out of a golf league just before it starts...

More than a few subway stations have drinking fountains to drink and to wash you feet, in case you get sand in your sandals, or something:

One other interesting feature is that, on some lines, conductors play a variation of the game, "Musical Chairs." Music plays while the doors are open and the music stops (!) when the doors are about to close. This is, no doubt, to encourage people to rush into the trains and find a seat as fast as possible, and trampling others, if necessary. I'll try to capture some of the "sounds of subway" next week. Until next time, I encourage everyone to follow the suggestion given by this advertisement, seen from a train, of course!

Tsukiji Fish Market

...just like the Fulton Fish Market except, umm, its in Japan.

The Kanji characters for the Tsukiji Fish Market are 築地 and there is a rich history and tradition here. Click the Kanji if you want to learn more about it. (Hopefully the link will bring you to the English language page.)

After getting off the train, I passed a McDonalds (!) and headed towards the fish market. After a block, I made my way, slowly, through a vendor area thick with people and thin with asphalt. Vendors were selling all sorts of fish, to be sure, but there were vendors selling Japanese knives, breakfast items, beans (no Beano though!) earthen ware, such as teapots and plenty of vegetables. Making it past the vendors, I found what appeared to be an official Tsukiji building. I think it was official because there was a sign that said 'Official Tsukiji Fish Market'. People were giving out sample size containers of sake. They were selling T-shirts too. (I bought me a blue one!) A short walk beyond that led to another section of vendors selling all sorts of things as well as many sushi restaurants, each one with long lines of people waiting to get in. This at around 11AM.

When I turned to make my way past one of the lines, a vendor selling some sort of green tea gave me a brochure and pointed past an area where many trucks were parked. "Sir," he began in English, "If you go to this area you will find a secret area with many fine fish shops." If he hadn't used the word, secret, I might have gone there straight away. After another half hour of wandering past vendors, I made my way to the secret area. I had gotten there too late! There were, indeed, many fish vendors, packed into a large alcove, but just about everyone was cleaning up, putting equipment away and washing the counters.The cobblestone floor was wet with water and some occaisonal fish blood. I did find one vendor still busy with a couple of tuna. I bought some nice pieces of the tuna at a very reasonable price. While the vendor was packing it in ice, I took out my camera to take a picture of the tuna. He stopped and called his father over, who happened to speak English. He spoke, proudly, about the fish being bigger than most. It must have been a real battle to buy these fish at auction. I think he said the fish were each 70 kg, but I'm too lazy to verify if my recollection is correct. Anyway, he offered to take a picture of me. Here it is:

When I return, I'll be sure to get there early. Oh, and I'll be sure to buy some tuna from number 5131!

Just Like DoubleMint Gum

Double the disappointment.

For reasons that had nothing to do with getting a good meal, I decided to go to McDonald's for dinner. I noticed that they had something called the Mega Mac. Its a Big Mac, only instead of two hamburger patties, there are four! After learning how to count to 20, I thought it would be a good idea if I ordered in Japanese. After all, I only needed to say 'ni' because number 2 was the Mega Mac Meal Deal number. I walked up to the counter, stuck up two fingers, like Richard Nixon would do, and said, 'ni.' The woman behind the counter said, 'ni?' and pointed to one of the six boxes. This box had a big number 2 and a picture of the Mega Mac as well as a smal picture of fries sitting next to a Coke. My response: "Hi. Ni." In my mind, which must have had the power and ability to bend spoons that night, that meant, "Yes, two." Not knowing how to say 'to go' in Japanese, I just mumbled, 'to go' also. After a few minutes, the big white McDonald's bag came to the counter, but the price was a little bit more than I expected. The Mega Mac Meal Deal was costing 780 yen, but the price in that little box on the menu was 690 yen. Thinking that I must have agreed to extra large fries, I paid for my meal and left.

Once outside, I noticed that there wasn't anything cold in the bag. 'They forgot my Coke!' was my first thought. Then I remembered: I never was asked what kind of beverage I wanted. Sure enough, when I looked in the bag, there were only two Meg Macs. No fries and no soda. When I got home, I ate the two (4? 8?? how do you count them anyway?) burgers. It was then that I noticed something else. I was still hungry.

UPDATE: I should have included a picture in the original post. This update should correct that omission. Whether or not anyone cares is another matter !

Fun things to do while illiterate

...in the comfort of your own apartment.

You might think that if you are illiterate in Japanese, that you couldn't take full advantage of this fact in the comfort of your own apartment. You might think you'd have to actually go outside on the streets of Tokyo to get the feeling one gets when trying trying to read Kanji. Well, you would be wrong. About the comfort part, I mean. Especially when there is an air conditioner in your apartment generating a blast of air as cold as when you open the door to a sauna with the heat turned up to 'inferno.'

Those of you that know me know that I am not a big fan (!) of air conditioning during the summer. This is due, in part, to the fact that the A/C is set to 'Arctic Winter' in my office. After a full day of Arctic Winter, I'm ready to enjoy some solar heating.

Here in Tokyo, just about all of the office buildings that I have entered have their air conditioners set to 'Lets not tick off the global warming alarmists'. If you enter these office building while calm, cool and collected, then you will remain that way. However, if you have walked on the streets of Tokyo for more than five minutes, especially during the rainy season, it will take until lunch time to feel calm, cool and collected - and that is if you've brought a change of clothes.

This past weekend, I was ready for some really cool air. and thought that turning on the air conditioner in my apartment would be a good idea. There is a display on the remote and I counted 13 buttons on the remote control, but none on the air conditioner itself. I did figure out a way to turn on the air conditioner and one button for changing the temperature. With the setting at -5 degrees Celsius, the air conditioner was pumping out air that felt like the afore mentioned 'inferno' setting. But, that was the best I could do, aside from getting the air conditioner to beep and flash alternating green, yellow and red LED lights. The Kanji characters did not help me in the least. And, unlike in Japanese restaurants, where there are pictures of the food on most menus to help you decide what to order, there was no picture of a snowflake or a cold breeze, or even a flame. Nothing. I suffered in silence, and in the comfort (!) of my own apartment.

Armed with a camera, I took a picture of the remote control and asked two people who were fluent in Japanese and English to help me understand how to use the remote to cool off. I had to be sure that I was getting the proper information, so one interpreter was not sufficient - not during the rainy season, at least. It turns out the blue button I used to turn on the air conditioner was the 'heat' button. The really critical button is the 'shift of operation' button and the 'power of breeze' button were also very helpful. The temperature was not -5 degrees Celsius, but I was able to remain calm, cool and collected while actually getting some sleep last night.

Tonight I'm going to experiment with the 'health cool' setting. I hope it doesn't make me (Pocari) sweat like I've been working out at the gym.

Pictures at an exhibition

"exhibitionism" might be a better word to use.

There was a comment a few days ago about there being plenty of wierdness in Japan. There was something about there being plenty of noble things in the U.S. too. I agree on both counts. Since I'm in Japan, however, I thought I would pass on this link as exhibit A of said wierdness. Nothing too outrageous. The pics are supposed to display "in Harajuku fashion." Some of the comments are humorous because they are not the comments I would use as captions.

Is it art ?

...or just a menu?

There's a neat little restaurant nearby - Akira - that serves some pretty good food for lunch. Well, "neat" probably is not the best word for the restaurant. The carpet is torn and tattered and battered and bruised. An old picture of James Dean is on the floor where he (James) can only see everyones shoes; a flat screen television is sticking out the side of a shelf and is planted at such an angle that only a few patrons near the door and the guy taking orders (who also doles out the rice) can watch it; padded milk crates are the chairs; a white board describes the day's menu - usually A, B or C is what I can recognize and order; two garage doors at the opposite end of the restaurant that (I hope) are permanently closed; lots of wooden pegs from a ship of some sort lining the walls; a big hot soup pot with a ladle and soup - usually miso - where you can serve yourself, and so on. Then there's this:


This photograph was taken before I figured out how to take advantage of the existing lighting and not force the flash to go off. As a consequence, it has that bright streak near the center that distracts my eyes, anyway. The Kanji characters in the circle identify this menu as a 'special'. There are shrimp and fish and clams on the menu too. The texture of the paint caught my eye, especially the drips all over the place. It gives just a hint of Jackson Pollock and makes for the title of this post. Who knew that dripping paint could do so much? I especially like the fact that one wooden peg was removed in order to show the entire menu.

On second thought, maybe the word, 'neat' does describe this place.

Taste Test

A Public Service Announcement.





I'm always willing to try new things here in Japan. Yes, I'm serious. And don't call me Voltaire. Sometimes, things like uni sushi are a pleasant surprise. Beverages, however, are another matter. I snapped a pic of some recently consumed beverages. So this post is a review of said beverages from left to right (click to get a better view):

First up: Yakult. Its a yogurt drink, and a little bit sweet, but it is not thick. The relative size of the bottle is an indication that you shouldn't want to drink a lot of it. There's barely a swallow in the little plastic bottle. Verdict: one thumb up.

Ready to drink coffee in a can: Roots. Its actually called 'Product' and it is probably made by L'Oreal. Although the picture doesn't show it, the bottom reads, "A Product for an energetic break and enjoyable life." I prefer my fortunes in a cookie, thank you very much. It looks like chocolate milk. Verdict: two thumbs down.

Cocoa Cola: it tastes like regular soda. Hard to find. Verdict: two thumbs up.

Pocari Sweat: Don't let the name fool you. This actually tastes like someone bottled the perspiration that occurs when placed in an uncomfortable social situation. Well, err, like I imagine the perspiration that occurs when placed in an uncomfortable social situation would taste like if someone were to bottle it. The color is milky white. Verdict: amputate my thumbs, please.

Calpis Soda: another milky white beverage with another unlikely name, this one is sweet and carbonated. I prefer soda that doesn't look like 1% milk. Verdict: one thumb up - for the name.

Asahi aqua blue beer: I was thinking about LaBatt's Blue when I saw this in the store. Disappointing because it tastes like Schlitz Light. And I don't think they make Schlitz Light any more. Verdict: no thumbs up.

Green Tea: At least I think it is green tea. My feeling is that green tea should, you know, look green. The plastic wrapping, which is green, tastes better than the beverage, which is unsweetened. At least it doesn't have that milky look that many of these beverages have. Verdict: two thumbs down.

Acerola: It tries hard to provide you with a cherry taste, but it has that milky look of Calpis. Should have a picture of Acerofspades, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Verdict: two thumbs down.

C.C. Lemon: this bottle has the most English words on the bottle of any beverage I have seen here in Japan. It proudly states that it has "The vitamin C level of 210 lemons in the bottle." This all leads me to believe that it is being marketed to Americans and not Japanese. I do not like being manipulated by such advertising. Verdict: 210 thumbs up.

Natural Mineral Water: This was the cheapest bottled water I could find in the store and it was sitting right next to Perrier. I think I was the only one to buy it. It tastes like water. On a lark, I tried comparing it to tap water. Of course, I cheated a little bit; the bottled water was colder so I could tell the difference. Verdict: two thumbs up.

I'm collecting a whole new set of bottles & cans and will provide another public service announcement soon.

There's something you don't see everday.

"...I just wanna bang on the drum all day..."

When I came home this evening, some Buddhist monks (?) were putting together a shrine right outside my apartment. Everything should be completed by tomorrow morning and I didn't want to disturb all of the goings-on. Instead I took a rather crappy photo of this drum in an intricately carved cart:

I especially liked the rooster on top. I'll try and capture some video if they play the drum!

Idylls of Prince Caspian

... for Mrs. Richmond.

In high school, one of the many teachers that stood out for me was my English teacher, Mrs. Richmond. She has a special place in my heart and mind for one particular reason: an essay exam on Tennyson's, "Idylls Of The King". If you didn't know, these are a series of poems based on the King Arthur Legend. After we had read them, we had an essay exam and one of the questions was, "Is chivalry dead in today's society?" Mrs. Richmond had a habit of stopping by random students and reading the answers they wrote, similar to the way one would browse magazines in the back of Barnes and Nobles on a rainy Saturday.
About half way through the exam, Mrs. Richmond made an announcement to the class. "When you answer the question about chivalry, don't equate being chivalrous with giving up your seat on a subway train." Obviously, one of the students had, in fact, written that very equation in essay form. Many students giggled nervously. I, however, was mortified. That was the same exact line of reasoning I was going to take! Since this particular answer was not going to pass muster, I had to come up with some other BS for the essay. I've long since forgotten what I wrote, but I've never forgotten what I didn't write.

Considering that question today, the answer, I believe, depends on how you personally define the word chivalry, never mind what that Webster guy has to say about it. And, I define it this way: an honor system where one's actions demonstrate consideration and respect for others. When I think of this definition, I think of people in Japanese society - or at least Tokyo - today. For example, when meeting someone for the first time, or even just to say good night, people will bow deeply towards each other. The security guard in the building I enter every day bows to everyone who comes in.
I've seen many people make eye contact with drivers who, in turn, seem obligated to let that person pass, whether he is on foot, riding a bicycle, or driving another car.
When a traffic light at a crosswalk says, Don't Walk, then no one really crosses the street. No matter if it is midnight and there are no cars on the road, the people in Tokyo, it seems to me, are showing respect for the rules and those cars and drivers that might be ambling by. By contrast, in the United States, the thought process is, "Double dumb ass on you!"

I thought about this, again, when watching the latest Chronic(what?)les of Narnia flick, Prince Caspian. At this movie, there was a large crowd. At the end of the movie, hardly anyone left! Just about everyone stayed through the final credits. My first thought was that this was a Pirates of the Caribbean sequel I was watching. Wrong! After pondering this for a while, I believe that everyone in that theater was acting chivalrous. In other words, they were showing respect to the artists involved in making the movie by watching their names roll across the screen.

There's just one example of chivalry here in Tokyo that I cannot provide. When riding on the subway, there are signs and announcements, in both English and Japanese, that the elderly, pregnant women, those with small children, etc. should be given a seat on the subway. If you have to be told constantly to do something - and not of your own accord, then it is not really chivalrous behavior. In this instance, I have to agree with Mrs. Richmond.

I Must Say

...channeling the voice of Ed Grimley.

I've been reading the comments and I must say that I appreciate them all. Quite a few of have also brought teh funny. Even though I probably will not add comments to the comments myself - otherwise why have a blog in the first place? - I do want to acknowledge and thank you for them.

Double Decker Bus

idea stolen from NYC where it was stolen from London...

On a bright, sunny Saturday afternoon, I decided to do the touristy thing and take a double decker bus ride in the center of Tokyo.
It costs about $12 to take the tour and they gave out free mp3 players so you could hear the descriptions of the sights in English for free. Even though I had to give it back at the end of the trip, it seemed like a good deal. While waiting to board the bus, I scoped out the seat that I wanted and was second in line. Well, I was second in line, until one of the stewardesses told me I was standing in the wrong line. I was now pretty close to the back of the line. When I got on the bus, I noticed the bus driver was wearing penny loafers with parts of each shoe strategically cut out. The driver either had a combination of high arches, swollen toes and bunyons, or he wanted extra "air conditioning" for his feet. Luckily, he was wearing socks, so there wasn't any noticeable "air conditioning" coming from his shoes. Because I was one of the last ones on the bus, most of the pictures I took came out like this:However, I was able to take one nice picture that I thought I would share with you:
It is rather interesting because the woman's voice coming from the mp3 player said that the buildings in the background were rebuilt after they were destroyed by Godzilla when he was fighting Mothra. (Actually, I may have made that last part up; he might have been fighting Mecha-Godzilla.)

TOTO

"...I've got a feeling we aren't in Kansas any more."

It is unusual enough that I have to post a picture of it:
The manufacturer is Toto. Yes, that is a sink on top. The water starts whenever the, well, whenever the handle is pushed. The seat is always warm and I'm not sure if there is a way to control its temperature. There are many controls on the right hand panel, and I can only make out the letter "W" amongst all of the Kanji characters. I think that the less I say, the better.

Update: That is not the letter "W" on the right hand panel.